Friday, June 17, 2016

The Sexiest Hot Messes in Movies

Ah, the hot mess. They're! I've compiled a little list of some of my favorite hot messes in films and tried to rank them from simply hot mess to the heat from 1,000 suns kind of mess. Read on and let me know who you think I've missed down in the comments. There are some spoilers ahead, so beware.

Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany's

Married at 13 (<hurgh>), Lula Mae Barnes goes through a serious transformation into Holly Golightly, New York socialite. She's beautiful and flirtatious, but she's a total mess. Kinda hard to get married at 13 and not be a mess. She finds out her brother, who is in the army, has died; she plans on marrying a guy for his money, and then she's thrown in jail for helping a crime boss. But just look at her; she's hot, and although not disheveled (except for when she's getting out of bed), she doesn't quite have everything together.

Maggie, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Maggie, like Holly Golightly, has her outward appearance completely put together...and put together well. She's married to one of the best-looking men ever (Brick, played by Paul Newman), yet he can't stand the sight of her. She loves him, wants to be near him, but Brick literally keeps her at a distance with his crutches. She hates her sister-in-law and her "no-necked little monsters", and let's face it, you would, too, if they were in your family. Registering a solid 7 in "ick factor" is Maggie's pride at knowing her father-in-law thinks she's hot.

Margot Tenenbaum, The Royal Tenenbaums


Margot is missing a finger, is married to an older man, was adopted, is constantly referred to as though she isn't really a part of the family, and she's in love with one of her adopted brothers. I would totally accept her, though. I fall in love with her every time I see her get off that bus.

Maxine Faulk, The Night of the Iguana

Oh, that neck!

Maxine (Ava Gardner) is a recent widow running a backwater resort in Mexico, and although that's messy enough, she also has two cabana boys at her beck and call. Factor in her friendship (and ultimate relationship) with a defrocked priest, her tendency to drink, and perhaps smoke a little marijuana, and you have yourself quite the catch. Honestly, Ava Gardner is one of the best at playing a hot mess; check out her performance in Seven Days in May if you don't believe me.

Ellen Berent, Leave Her to Heaven

Selfish? Check. Pampered? Check. Daddy issues? Check. Murderer? Oh yeah. Ellen's relationship with her family is kind of reminiscent of that Twilight Zone episode "It's a Good Life", in which the little boy gets everything he wants from a family (and a town) that is scared shitless of him. In Leave Her to Heaven, Ellen finds her man (played by Cornel Wilde), becomes overly protective of him, kills his brother, kills their unborn baby by throwing herself down some stairs, and then commits suicide after writing some damning diary entries that would put her husband away for life. And she's not on the top of this list? Nope. Keep reading.

Martha, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

There is some serious dysfunction going on in the marriage of Martha and George. They're a middle-aged couple who drink too much and argue about a child they never had. During an after party get-together with Nick and Honey (George Segal and Sandy Denis), Martha gets tarted up a bit to infuriate George and tempt Nick. Even through all of the arguing and manipulation, Martha is one sexy hot mess, even if she's not the biggest mess in the film. That's really saying something.

Sister Ruth, Black Narcissus

Who knew nuns could be so crazy...and hot?!

Nuns. A vow. The attention of an attractive man. What could go wrong? Sister Ruth (Kathleen Byron) only loses her freaking mind because of the attention paid to Sister Clodagh (Deborah Kerr) by Mr. Dean (David Farrar). Ruth passes insanity's event horizon and falls into it faster and faster, only becoming hotter and hotter along the way, even as she attempts to murder Clodagh.

Anna, Possession

If you haven't seen Possession, I have no idea where I should even begin with Anna (Isabelle Adjani). If you have seen Possession, I don't have to say anything. For the uninitiated, there are knives, broken bottles, child abandonment, and "octopus sex"...she's a disturbing, and disturbed, individual, but she's really hot and just needs to be held...but apparently with tentacles. Anna's got the 1,000 suns thing I referenced at the top of the piece; she's the "total package" in this regard and deserves the top spot.


Who are your favorite hot messes? Let me know in the comments.


  1. I love how most of these so-called hot messes are from before we had a word for it.

  2. There must be something completely wrong, I have wanted to be most of these women at some point in my life, sadly And fortunately, I kind of have it together.

    I threw a Wes Anderson theme party, just so I could be Margot Tennenbaum and a Hollywood theme party, just so I could be Holly Golightly.

    Of course you left out the ultimate hot mess, Marilyn Monroe!

    lovely post.


    1. Thanks, Summer!

      I'm not sure wanting to be these women necessarily means something is wrong; you just have interesting goals! Now, if you said you re-enacted Isabel Adjani in a metro tunnel, then your loved ones may want to sit down with you.

      The only reason I left Marilyn off is because I rarely watch her films. I think I've seen maybe two or three.